In and Out

I get so excited about new ideas. Then they fade or life hits me up with a bump or two, and I abandon them. Like this blog. It's in the back of my mind all the time, yet it's been two months since I posted. What have I been up to? A few bumps, definitely. First, my computer crashed and took several weeks to be repaired and put back together. During that time, I only had access to my hubbys laptop in the evenings. Not really when I feel like posting anything. Besides, it's amazingly sloooooow. Oh, and the big bump - I fractured my foot. Yes, in an amazing adventure I managed to fracture it in two places and also sprain my ankle. Ok, so it really wasn't an amazing adventure. It was actually quite dull, and yet quite typical of me. I was walking down the steps to make the baby a bottle and put her down for a nap. On the fourth step from the bottom, my daughter had left a flip flop. I tripped over it, twisting my ankle and falling down the remainder of the steps. The scene at the bottom was kind of amusing. I was crying, rocking my foot back and forth. It scared my eldest daughter, so she was with me, kissing my foot and sobbing. Then a long comes daughter #2, laughing. She sits on my leg, bouncing up and down, laughing and kissing me.
Needless to say, I made out pretty well. I was only given a hideously ugly velcro sneaker to wear, and was sent home with crutches. Crutches, by the way, made me feel extremely old. Remember when you were young, crutches seemed so cool. I remember being envious of friends who had to use them. I was never lucky enough to break something and be able to use them. Not until I was 33 that is. 33 and completely out of shape! I had no idea the physical exertion required to get around on them. It was horrendous.

So that's my story. And that's where I've been.

Where I'm going is to the Jersey Shore for the weekend. My brother in law is getting married on Sandy Hook on the 4th of July. I'll be sure to report back on that one. Daughter #1 is the flower girl. How will she act? Yet another source of anxiety.....

Who is in there?

Nine years ago, when I started my job as Assistant buyer at Aigner, I was asked to write a profile of myself to be published in the quarterly newsletter. Upon publication the catty SHE in the cubicle next to mine commented “you sure have a lot to say about yourself”. Well, of course I did, I was 24, newly married, had a huge disposable income and lots of time on my hands. I had hobbies, interests and things to do! Fast forward nine years and 2 kids later. I’m filling out the application for the Local MOM”s club. The bottom line asks about your hobbies and activities. My mind draws a blank. Hobbies? Interests? Does researching online what will take poo stains off the carpet count? Well, I used to….. but now I….. well, crap. I drink coffee. A lot. Does that count as an interest? So I lied. I put down the things I used to do, or put money into starting and never did.
I wrote: reading (still true, just happens that my most read author at the moment is Sandra Boynton), yoga (well, I used to love it, and I did buy that new DVD that I’m sure I’ll start doing any day now), cooking (finding ways to hide veggies in meals is certainly a creative outlet!) and scrapbooking (the $300 dollars worth of supplies my Mom bought me has to be good for something!)

Am I becoming one of those women? You know the ones. The ones who have no true identity other than their kids? Can’t be. I’m in here somewhere. I just have to scrape off the food stains, and wash my hair. I’m still here! I promise, here and now. I’m starting again. Taking control of me, making time to pursue my own interest. Hear me roar! Well, hear me roar tomorrow, if I get a good nights rest. I swear.

My Mission Statement, sort of

Just do it. Right? I should be a writer, a writer, a writer. Hmmmm… a writer needs to write. Just do it… I need a mission statement what should it be? To make money. To feel like I’m contributing to the world as a whole. Oh let’s get sappy here. I’m raising two strong, fierce girls. I AM CONTRIBUTING. But I need more. Cash. Can I make money with this blog thing? Well, let’s see. What am I going to write about. ME!!! Then I should define myself. Ideas. I’m very good at ideas. I get very excited about ideas. This blogging thing for instance. How long will it last? Perhaps a little longer than a lot of my ideas. Perhaps I’ll even start it. Instead of thinking about it. Did I mention that I have lofty ideas that I never put into motion? Oh, and the procrastination. It’s tough, too. Me. Defined. Procrastinator, on again off again environmentally conscious, frugally living, hip mama. I can give you tips on lots of things. Things that I do. Sometimes. And then I’ll confess. I go through long periods of total inactivity. Long periods of drinking too much coffee and watching my little ones trash our house. Then up I go. Off on another tangent. Are you there too?