Hay is for Horses

So as we pulled into the driveway, D1 spied the bale of straw I just bought sitting next to the garage. It's for my slacker garden. The garden that will become the garden of neglect by the end of the summer - a tradition two years in the making. Anyways, D1 asks "why do we have hay". And as a responsible Mother I reply "hay is for horses". I mean, what else was I going to say? But I couldn't stop there. I told her "we bought a horse. It's sleeping in your room. I'm not sure where you will sleep tonight". In the half second of forethought before I made this statement I figured she would whine that she wanted her bed, and I would simply tell her that I was joking. But she didn't whine, she got excited. Started talking about feeding it apples,sharing her bed with it and going for rides on it. I could have stopped there, but I didn't, I went with it. As we walked into the house, she nearly knocked me over trying to get upstairs. I braced myself for the tears. Instead, she yelled down "Mom, I can't find her!, Where is she!" I told her to look in my room "She's not there, Mom!" So I went upstairs and said to my dear D1 "now silly, do you really think Mommy put a horse in your room?" And her reply? "Oh yeah, right. It's in the yard?"

My addiction

So, I have a dirty little secret. I'm addicted. Addicted to my Blackberry. It really must be like crack, I hear that is also very quickly addicting. I've only had my blackberry for a month, and I can't believe how addicted I am.

Let me start at the beginning:

My husband needed a new cell phone. He uses his for work, so a multi-functioning device made sense for him. When he was looking into them, he mentioned to me that the current sale was buy one, get one free. Well, I knew NOTHING about them. Except I saw them on a commercial once, and thought they looked cute. A nice little accessory to put into my Coach handbag. So as hubby left to go to the Verizon store, I told him sure, I'd take one, but don't bother getting me the internet connection, because I don't need THAT.

Yeah, I was that clueless. See for those of you who are also clueless, you can't get a Blackberry with out internet connection. It's kind of pointless.

So Hubby comes home from Verizon, and before he even gives me the phone he announces that we had to pay for the internet access. He reduced our minutes, so we are actually paying the same, but we had to have internet access. Right away my hackles are up - we could have been SAVING money by reducing our minutes, but instead we are paying for the internet? Arghhhh. Then I start playing with the phone. Mine is a storm, or something, I don't really know. It doesn't actually have buttons, you have to push on the screen for it to work. In all of two minutes I decided I HATED it. It must go back, I declared! I put it in the box, while Hubby shook his head repeatedly at me. The next morning he asked me to just try it for a couple of days. Well, ok. But I wasn't going to take the protective clear plastic off of it, so I could still return it if I wanted.

Yeah, on day 3, D2 pulled it all off. The phone was mine. I've made peace with the push screen, actually I'm pretty good at it. I can punch in an email at a pretty fast speed. Have to admit, I'm a little embarrassed by it. I mean, come on, why the hell does a housewife need a Blackberry? What urgent matters do I need to attend to online? Scheduling the latest playgroup can't wait till I have time to sit in front of the computer? I mean really. It's kind of silly.

But that doesn't stop me from checking it ALL THE TIME. Constantly. The little ding of a new message is hypnotizing: MUST CHECK MESSAGE NOW! And it's pathetic, just how detached from the here and now I've become. I'm playing with the girls at the park, and suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to check my messages. Or in the middle of dinner I hear a ding and desperately want to get up to see what it is. I mean really, ho


Sorry, where was I? My phone just dinged so I had to check what it was - not to worry, it was just SPAM. Now, I forget what I was s

Sorry, sorry, it happened again. Apparently book club is being re-scheduled. Good thing I checked it right away, urgent stuff, you know?

So last night I think I hit rock bottom. Hubby and I frequently spend our evenings on opposite ends of our sectional watching tv and playing with our blackberry's. Yeah, I know, it is as pathetic as it sounds. Sometime's we IM each other. Uh Huh. We really do.

We were watching the finale of American Idol. Does it make us sound less pathetic if I tell you that we watch it in order to mock it? Yeah, I know, it doesn't. At least I tried.

So to annoy Hubby or to make him laugh, I'm not really sure, I start using my FB status update to add my two cents to what is going on during the show. Some of them were actually hilarious in my opinion. Hee hee. But ok,maybe, just maybe, it was a little overboard to write 15 updates in about 23 minutes. But come on, Hubby was laughing! Who cares about my other 144 FB friends, right?

I know, it was as low as a Blackberry addict could go,right? Where do I go for counseling on this sort of thing?

Or ma

Ah never mind, my phone is dinging again, going to go check it....

Spring Fever

So after several days of miserable rain, late Saturday afternoon, the sky cleared, the sun shone and the temperature rose. It was a beautiful day! A touch of spring fever infected hubby and I. And after perusing the horrible state of my kitchen, I decided that not only was there no way in hell I was cooking, but I wasn't going to eat in that wretched place, either. Out to eat for the Henny crew! We decided upon a fav italian restaurant that featured an outdoor patio - a perfect space for our unruly children.

As we drove there in our mini-van, with the windows rolled down, the 80's retro rock pumped up, Hubby and I sang along with our kids bopping along in the back. I smiled, and day dreamed of the chilled glass of Riesling I was going to sip on at the patio while eating whole wheat pasta tossed with sun-dried tomatoes and fresh basil. Exchanging a few buzzed giggles with hubby and smiling at our children's banter. I was ready for a relaxing, fun evening.


Ok, so this is where the fun music comes to a scratching halt and reality hits in the sitcom version of this glimpse into my life.

We walked into the restaurant,to find that the patio was closed for the evening due to a threat of rain. The restaurant was packed with boys in tuxedos and girls in skimpy dresses and updos. IT WAS PROM NIGHT! And so we backed out of the restaurant as quickly as possible.

I pouted all the way to the next restaurant, where we were turned away for the very same reason. An understanding hostess who obviously had children of her own, suggested it would be a very bad idea to eat there because of the crowds of teenagers. A helpful Hubby suggested that we do eat there, as a public service to all the parents at home worrying. Our children on display would make such a great statement in support of abstinence.

Then we drove around for 15 minutes, arguing over where to eat. I pouted. Hubby still insisted on having the windows open, which just felt like an annoying wind to me, at this point.

And so we ended up at Panera, eating salads and grilled cheese sandwiches. The whole time shocked and amazed that it cost us $36 to eat those entrees. Salad, cheese and bread for $36??? Arghhhhh! My chilled wine was replaced by iced tea. My ambience replaced with reprimands to the children on sitting still. It was reality at it's finest.

For the most part, I don't miss my life before children. I really do treasure them, and love our times together. But sometimes, just sometimes, I miss the casualness, the unplanned-ness of eating out, taking our time finding a place and savoring a meal. Especially the savoring of the meal.

Face Book Reject

So as I mentioned last week, I am addicted to Facebook. I have 142 friends. My hubby has 248. We competed for a time, but he obviously won. I update my status once or twice or ten times a day. I post photos, I look at other people's photos and leave comments. You get the idea, I'm hooked.

So yesterday, I was paging through my list of friends and I noticed something - a "friend", a boy I dated in 9th grade. Well, wait, let me correct that: he asked me to "go out with him" we talked on the phone and walked to a couple of classes together. I never knew what to say to him, we had long awkward silences then about 2 weeks into the relationship (ahem) I had my friend break up with him. He then went on to become a tough boy punk rock kind of dude and was forever rude to me, until like 12th grade when he started speaking to me again. And no, I'm not saying that my breakup from our intense relationship caused all that, I'm just saying that's what he was like. So he ended up living and working in some big city and being single and leading some kind of interesting life that I really wouldn't want to lead. Anyways, I'm talking in circles, aren't I? Are you wondering where this is going? Yeah, so am I. Ok, back to my point. This "friend" had de-friended me! He was no longer on my list! So I searched his name. He still had a profile and he still had 209 friends. 209 of his closest, dearest friends, so close that he obviously didn't have room for little ol' me to be his 210th. What a blow to the ego! I mean do I care about him? Of course not. Do I need to know anything more about him? Nope. But still, I was rejected on Facebook! Was it my lame suburban housewife comments that got to him? Was it my incessant droning on about my crazy kids? Was he only keeping cool city hipsters on his list? What could it have been? Am I not one of the cool kids? Did he hold with him my pathetic rejection for the past 20 years, and finally had his moment to get back at me? Was it the stupid tests I kept taking that annoyed him - could he no longer read what kind of fairy I was or what name I should have been named? Or did he look through my photos and get some satisfaction in the knowledge that I gained more weight than he since school, and now he could move on? What was it?! Why would he defriend me?!

And yes, this is what went through my head as I prepared dinner last night. Facebook has reverted me back to a socially insecure highschooler. The horror.

A list

So I'm totally addicted to Face Book. Completely. I am an addict. So is most of the United States, it would appear, so I don't feel all that bad about it. Perhaps it's the reason the Economy has tanked - no one is actually doing their jobs, they are just looking up old loves on FB all day.

If you are on FB, you know that it is being polluted by lists. Lists on everything you can think of, really. Fav movies, books, songs, hottest serial killers, ugliest flowers, blah, blah, blah. So the list thing has infected my head. For weeks now I've been walking around making lists in my head. Here's the one I made today:

My Favorite Things about Spring/Summer

1. Bare Feet
2. Gin N Tonics
3. My annual beach vacation with the Fam
4. Margaritas
5. Backyard BBQ's
6. The smell of lilacs
7. Strawberries, blueberries and raspberries
8. The Emmaus Farmers Market - going there every Sunday for some shopping and bonding with my little D1.
9. Hanging out on my adirondack chair in the backyard listening to Bob Marley
10. Street Fairs and carnivals
11. Ice Cream

I got to 11. Probably would look nicer if I had stayed at 10, but who can leave out ice cream? I mean really.

Checking In

So, I have to be honest with you. I've been feeling a little uncertain about this blog lately. It started out being a place to talk about myself, but as so many Stay at Home Mom's can attest to, talking about myself doesn't have a whole lot of content these days, and so it became telling a whole lot of stories about D1 and D2. But I've been having some concerns about that lately. You see, a lot of people who actually know me in real life read this blog. This was by my own design, so I have only myself to blame. But, I've been concerned lately that maybe I'm not being fair to my little girls. D1 especially. Am I giving her a bad reputation? I dwell on the more, errr, negative aspects because well, for two reasons, I suppose. One is because this gives me a place to vent, and usually feel better about things. And two, because, come on, they are pretty hilarious! Well, that is if you aren't the one cleaning up the egg shells or running after the naked little angels.

My D1 (and D2, too!) are spirited, creative, self reliant and curious. But is that what people think after reading my blog? Or do they think destructive and wild? Do they know that D1 trys to take care of her Mommy and Daddy when they are sick? Bringing them water to drink and a blanket to snuggle with? Do they know that she loves to help Momma bake? Or that she always sticks up for her little sister at the playground? Do they know that she willingly gave up her pacifier to the paci fairy so that little babies who needed their own paci's could have them? Or that the sound of the wind drives her out of her own bed into the safety of Mommy and Daddy's room? I guess I assume everyone knows D1's other side. The way she likes to snuggle up to her Daddy and watch a flyers game, or how she likes to make up stories with her Mama about Princess D1 and Princess D2 and their Queen Mommy. How excited she gets to see her older cousins - you'd think they were rock stars the way she acts!

So I've been holding back a little. Not sure what to write about. Writing about me and my adventures has to include my girls, but to what extent? And is focusing on the negative good for them, or for my parenting for that matter?

I'm just not sure, I guess.

Easter

As a little laugh before Easter, I thought I would post an email I sent to a friend right after Easter 2006. It was D1's first Easter, and in honor of that, Hubby and I decided to host our very first Holiday dinner with Hubby's family - his parents, brother and his girlfriend, Grandmother, Aunt and Uncle and Cousins. We were going to try to fit all those people into our tiny little house and impress the heck out of them with our well cooked food and great hospitality.

And of course, that's not how it went:

My Easter was a disaster. It started Saturday - my sciatica started giving me trouble, which it hasn't bothered me in probably 2 years, but it kicked in, so I totally didn't get half the stuff done that I needed. So Sunday started with me way behind. Luckily Hubby's Bro and his girlfriend came early and helped. But still I was behind. 30 mins before everyone was coming, I was just getting around to putting the ham in the oven. Before I could do this, we spied my neighbor (house behind me) passing out and falling to the ground. I ran over first, with Hubby a few seconds behind. We thought he was dead - so scary. Here he's diabetic and passed out from that. He hit his head on the driveway pretty hard and was bleeding. So we called 911. Then while we were waiting for them, I drove over to his church (very funny - me and an all black baptist church) to get his wife. Needless to say, I was a little frazzled by that. So I opened up the wine :) and started drinking :) drinking a little too much, to be exact :) Well, all the food managed to get into the oven, late, but that was ok. Then everything but the pineapple stuffing was done, so we decided to start with the salad while that finished up. Hubby complained to me that he was worried about the stuffing because it was dripping, and the oven was a little smokey. I told him not to worry about it. A few minutes later he checked on it again, and oooops! The oven was on fire. Really bad. We all had to leave the house and Hubby had to use the fire extinguisher on the oven (still haven't cleaned it yet - yuck!). It wasn't too horrible, actually. I think we only had to wait @30 mins before we could go back into the house :) Luckily Ham tastes good cold. Next, I decide to toast D1 for her excellent gene pool, and manage to drop my entire glass of wine all over Hubby's plate. Hmmmmm..... who do you think was angry by this point? Then, I find the whole event hilarious, so I go upstairs to take care of D1 and decide to call my parents, forgetting of course that the monitor was on. A classy kind of day :) I'm lucky my husband is still speaking to me.

I wanted to talk to you, I have great visions for D1's Bday party and wanted your advice. I'm hoping this time the fire will be elevated to the point of needing fire trucks. Every kid loves fire trucks :)No seriously, wanted to talk to you about baking and stuff.
And that was our first try at Holiday Entertaining! We haven't done an Easter at our house since.

Happy Easter, and if you're hosting, here's hoping it is Smoke Free!