In Over My Head

Somedays I just feel so in over my head. My daughters are "spirited". IE, they are nuts. active, into everything, destructive, inventive, curious, mean, loving. Yes, all of the above. On days when all those adjectives are turned into verbs coming at me all at once; I'm just in this way, way over my head.
The last 90 minutes kind of play out like this: The girls are eating lunch, so I sneak outside to get our pool bag from the purse, D #1 comes running out after me, now she's poking through her daddy's things in the garage.
"D#1, come inside."

"come inside"

"please, come inside"

"sigh" And I pick her up and in we go.

As I walk in, the phone is ringing, D2 is standing up in her high chair.

"D2, sit down"

"On, your bum"

"Down"

"Sigh" and I pick her up and put her down on the floor.

As I'm talking to a new friend, I turn around in the kitchen and see that D1 has emptied the contents of my pool bag onto the floor.

"sigh"

"D1, please come back here and clean up this mess"

Still chatting (selfish me, trying to speak to another adult for 5 mins)

I walk into family room.

"D1! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! THE SUNTAN LOTION IS NOT FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH!"

"D1, STOP! STOP RUBBING IT ON THE FIREPLACE!!!"

And phone conversation is abruptly cut short.

"D1, Time out. Don't leave the step till I say"

"ok, Mommy"

30 seconds later: "D1, I said not to leave the step"

"ok, Mommy"

"D1, Do you want to go to the pool?"

"Yes, Mama"

"then stay on this step till Mommy says it's time to get up"

"yes. Mama"

"D1, why did you leave the step? Now we can't go to the pool"

"sorry, Mama"

So crap, that didn't work. And now what the hell are we going to do? Alright, where did I put those water paints?

"D2, get off the steps, come follow Mommy"

"D2, off the steps"

"Off the steps"

Here they are!

"off with all your clothes, we are going to paint!"

"D1, don't put the paint on your sister"

"D1, you got paint in her eye!"

"D2, off the steps"

"D2, come lets paint"

"off the steps"

"D1, why did you paint all over your body?"

"Ok, time for a bath!"

"D1, stop turning the water to hot"

"D2, let me take off your diaper"

"Shit! Poo!"

"D1, I need wipes"

"please, hurry, I need the wipes"

"thank you"

"ok, wait, Mommy needs to add some cold water"

"wait"

"Please, wait"

"wait"

"ok, nows ok"

"D1, don't push your sister"

"D2, water stays inside the tub"

"in the tub"

"ok, give me the cup"

"D2, I mean D1, stop splashing your sister"

"D1, stop splashing so hard"

"D2, keep the water in the tub"

"in the tub"

"stop hitting your sister"

"stop"

"stop it!"

"ok, time to get out!"

"wait, mommy has to give you towel"

"wait, you're getting water all over the floor"

"let Mommy put a diaper on"

"sit still"

ahhhh..... I'm in so deep, glub glub glub!!!!