Random

So I've had a ton of ideas running through my head on blog posts. Little narratives that go on in my head as I go about my day. But, yeah, obviously I haven't stopped to write them down. Once again, it's been a while, huh? I wish I was one of those types that write here every day but that just isn't happening, now is it? Sorry about that.

So what's been going on here? Well, lets see:

D1 is into a full schedule of activities: preschool three days a week, dance class one morning and Soccer every Saturday afternoon. School has gotten off to a good start. And so has dance. Which, I have to tell you, I REALLY never thought I would sign up one of my girls for dance or gymnastics or anything like that. When they were babes in my arm I swore I wouldn't be one of THOSE Moms. I somehow have those activities linked with eating disorders. Yeah, I know, she's four. But that's just how I think. So I went against that self imposed law. Oh well, next thing you know I'll be signing her up for a beauty pageant. (hee hee. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth!).
Soccer isn't going quite as well. But as I keep reminding my soccer loving husband, she's four! She looks cute in her little uniform, at least.

As I'm carting D1 all over town on these activities, I've been noticing the other Moms and laughing to myself. They all seem vaguely familiar, though I don't know any of their names, or the names of their children, for that matter. But they are familiar all the same. We've all been floating around mindlessly in this little suburban bubble of ours, shuttling our kids to the playground, McDonald's, the pool, library and so on. Living parallel lives of time outs, Happy Meals and slides. Like a secret society, unknown to all, including it's members.

In addition to these activities, I've been carting D2 around as well. She seemed to be feeling a little left out, so today we started a Mommy and Me Dance class (I know! from being against dance, to joining a class myself! Just call me hypocrite!) It actually went much better than any of the other activities I participated in with D2 - so I have high hopes (which of course will come crashing down at ab0ut week # 4. )

With all these activities, what has really been taking up my time is my sweet D2. At 2 1/2 she has come crashing, thrashing and screaming into the terrible two's. From the moment she wakes up till the time she goes to bed, it is all about our battle of the wills. I know this, I know it is an important part of her growth to test her boundaries and establish her independence. But oh my god! Nothing, not even her crazy older sister prepared me for this. I am quite simply exhausted.

Mischief has become her middle name. Pouring juice onto the carpet, dumping cornstarch onto the desk, emptying shelves of it's books. And that was just one evening. She has smeared balmex all over the couch, threw poopy diapers across the room. Locked herself in my dressing room to play with my makeup. Had tantrums over the correct type of juice she wants to drink. It has been endless, and I'm just so tired!

And that my friends, is what I've been up to. As many of these things were happening, the narrative in my head was hilarious. But written too long after, it sounds rather dull. Hang in there with me, though!

Broken

So they broke me. I'm certain. Cracked beyond repair. My mind is gone. Spirit gravely injured.

I woke at the usual time today, in the usual way: D1 arriving in my room at 7:30. But from there, things went a little differently. First of all, D1 greeted me with poop ass. What a duty, to wipe someone else's bum before you've even had time to wipe the crusties from your eyes. Then, as I gained more consciousness, I thought to ask - "where are your pants?" to which she replied "downstairs". Hmmmm... downstairs, already?

And so after collecting D2, we go downstairs. Where I find the refrigerator door propped open with a step stool. Pudding and juice on the counter. Then I head into the family room - tv is on. My little angel is so self sufficient, isn't she?

Breakfast is a mess. A lot of crying, pushing and fighting over cheerios. There's probably more to say, but I'm already starting the process of blocking it all out.

Ok, bath time! I've heard other people remark that bath time is such a fun, relaxing time in their house. Huh. Can I move in? Bath time in our house involves Mommy yelling not to dump ALL the water out onto the floor, and then very aggressively washing hair, because I haven't found any other way to get it done.

Ok, next I dare hop on the computer for a few minutes. Check email, send an email, and see if I can find any sort of free activity for the morning. Afterwards I come downstairs to see D2 covered in red sharpie marker. Her new pink pants stained already. And don't even dare ask why I would leave a sharpie out again, yeah, I know, I should have learned my lesson after the carpet incident. Well, here's the thing: I didn't actually leave it out. Well, yeah, I did, sort of, if you include leaving it on top of the fridge as "out". The little angels now know how to scale the sides to get the things on top. I'm going to have to start leaving things in nets on the very tops of our trees to keep them away from my sweet babies. I'll have to train pigeons to fetch stuff for me. My hubby was right, a helper monkey really would be wonderful.

Next comes trying to get them to go to a park to play for a while, take advantage of this crazy warm weather we are having. Well, after several meltdowns, in becomes apparent that they do not want to go outside. Ok, maybe D2 needs an early nap, she's still not feeling 100% after last week's bug. Into crib, and starts a 20 minute tirade. Out of bed. Ok, let's play in the basement. As I'm walking down to the basement, a friend calls and I attempt to have a conversation. Silly me. In the 10 minutes I'm on the phone, the girls unroll an entire thing of wrapping paper. Then begin to fight over it, which leads to a sword fight with the legs of a dismantled table. My friend remarks that my house sounds like a chinese take out kitchen. I'm thinking more like a cock fighting arena. I abruptly end the conversation when it becomes apparent that D2 has been injured by the sword fight.

Ok, lets have snack lunch! Snack lunch is when Mommy doesn't really feel like making "real" food. I bring out a bunch of snacks and let them eat it on the floor in basement. A relatively good time for a while.

As they are finishing up, I run upstairs to brush teeth and do a few things so we can go to the open gym time at our township building. A few minutes pass, and D1 comes upstairs. Naked. Informs me that D2 has made a mess in the kitchen. "but where are your clothes, D1?, Did you pee?". "Yes, Mommy, I did not make mess in kitchen". Which, for those of you who do not interpret 3 yr old speak, means "I made a mess, but blame my sister".

So I go downstairs. I find half a dozen eggs broken all over the floor, with half chewed pepperoni mixed in. Their clothes thrown on top. I big eggy disgusting mess.
Naked D1 climbs on top of the counter and starts to jump up and down saying "not me! not me!" D2 wines and cries because she can't scale to those heights.

I, I begin to cry. I call hubby, and tell him "I'm broken - they finally did it - they broke me" He tells me to put them in their rooms, and take a shower. Tells me to leave the eggs on the floor.

And that is what I do. D2 into her crib. I put the safety handle on D1's door so she can't get out. And I take a long, long shower. My shower has a little bench in it. I've never used it. I mean why would I? I did today. Sat there, head to knees and watched the water go down the drain.

Now, I'm writing this, with wet hair, wearing my bathrobe. I can't get myself to go downstairs and clean that mess. Nor can I get myself to go into D1's room to see the mess she has created in there.

painting a picture of family life

So my friend Valerie, over at A Frugal Family Fun Blog recently wrote this post about a family painting event. She even provided photos. The pictures are a snapshot of domestic tranquility at it's best. A tranquil activity to wind down the day. With the chaos of Christmas, it had been a while since I painted with the girls. With the icey, rainy weather today, I figured it would be a good time to pull out the new painting supplies I bought them for Christmas. I bought them two little kits. One is acrylic paint with a cute miniature pallette and really nice paintbrushes, the other is water paint with lots of great colors. I gave D1 the choice of which one to use. She chose the acrylic paint. This is how the conversation went once everything was set up:

D1: I want water, tooooo! Why D2 have water? I want water.
Me: Your paint doesn't need water to work.
D1: But I want water.

She then runs over to D2's paint and paper and starts using it.

D2: SCREEEEECHHHHH!! Noooooo! Mine!
Me: D1, get back to your chair. Use your paint. Back to your chair! Back to your chair!

D1 then goes back to her chair. Mixes all the pretty colors together to form an ugly black.

Me: D1, why did you do that? Now you only have black. D1, don't paint your hands, we aren't doing handprints today. D1, back to your chair, leave your sister alone. D1, clean off your hand, paint is everywhere now. D2, stop screaming. D2, stop throwing your paintbrushes on the floor.

D1: I want water.
Me: Your paint doesn't need water.
D2: Screeech!
D1: I want more paint.
D2: Screeech!
D1 then gets out of chair and grabs more paint.

Me: No, D1, you have to use up your black paint first.

D1: I want water.

Me: No, D1, we are not doing handprints today. One more time and we will stop painting.

and 30 seconds later...

Me: Ok! Painting is done! You didn't listen!
D1 & D2: Screech!


Thanks for the suggestion, Val.