Wednesday, August 20, 2008

fluids, fluids everywhere, and I need a drink

I'm amazed when I visit other Mom's houses and see so much not baby proofed. Or rather pre-schooler proofed. Lotions out in plain sight, dish liquid next to the sink, hand soap actually left out in the powder room. Craft supplies left in an accessible place. I stand in awe of such things. Why? Well, let's just use the last month as an example.

In the last month, D1 has:

- poured laundry detergent all over our luggage for vacation
- sprayed sunblock on the grill
- sprayed sunblock on friend's grill (what's up with that, btw? why grills?)
- smeared chapstick on back of computer desk chair
- rubbed hand soap onto self,bathroom vanity and floor (twice, two different bathrooms)
- colored my bathroom walls with lipgloss
- gobbed butter onto kitchen cabinets
- colored on family room, dining room and kitchen walls
- applied entire tube of favorite lipstick onto self, lovey, sister, sister's lovey, washing machine and laundry room floor (my personal favorite)
- poured coveted half n half into hubby's used scotch glass
- emptied entire contents of jasmine scented baby powder all over her room
- opened a large herbal sachet over toddler bed

I'm not making this up, and I know there have been more, I'm just blocking them out for sanity reasons. And these have occurred with zealous baby proofing methods. Of course, the methods have gotten stricter as more infractions have occurred. So yes, if you happen to use the powder room in my home, you will have to ask for the hand soap. And yes, I no longer carry my favorite lipstick in my purse(for many reasons, but the main being that I have to buy a new tube). How do I stop this? D1 has supervised craft times almost every day. We paint, color with crayons, markers and chalk. We use glue and stickers. We have a water table where she can pour and dump water to her heart's content. It's obviously not enough. Please, readers, I will try any suggestions!

I try to think how this will translate into her adult self. How can she funnel this obsession with fluids and semi-solids into a profession that she will find rewarding? A chemical engineer that comes up with new paint colors for Sherwin-Williams? Product development for Maybelline? I'm most convinced that it will be mixed media artist. I can see the reviews now " the latest installment from artist D1 is a statement on anti-domesticity. She masterfully mixes detergent, soap, and cosmetics with acrylic paints to bring the wall sized canvases to life. They scream "no" to the perils of suburban living!"

Or maybe this is a gift to me. Perhaps she is training me for my next career. Am I meant to become the next guru of stain removal? The goddess of stain-free carpeting?

Only time will tell, but for now, I'm thankful gin & tonics are clear in color.

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