Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Back into the swing of things

So D1's behavior was really, really good. For close to a month. The Holidays were not nearly as horrifying as I thought it would be, as far as her behavior went, that is to say. I even started getting a little nostalgic about it. Thought she was growing up, maturing. I started stressing over the blog even. What would I write about if I had a well behaved child? Nothing to complain over, no stories to make you laugh. Well, that's all wrong. D1 is back. Back with a vengeance. I've been so busying policing her and D2, I haven't had time to pee. Seriously, the last two weeks have been insane. Insane.

So what's been going on? Well, first of all, D2 is really coming into her own. She is becoming D1's accomplice in so many acts of vandalism, even creating her own.

Here is a short list of what they have been up to, once again, I've blocked out some of the things to conserve my sanity. Keep in mind, this is an incomplete list spanning just two weeks.

- squirted lotion all over bathroom floor

- wrote with a sharpie pen on the living room carpet (yeah, that doesn't come out)

- D2 drew on wall with bic pen (that doesn't appear to come out, either)

- dipped makeup brushes in lipstick (bye bye make up brushes)

- D1 dumped a bottle of Burts Oil in her hair. (oh, and then denied it. despite the obvious evidence of grease in her hair. Which, btw, took four hair washings to get out)

- smeared gel candle goop all over bathroom wall

- D2 wrote on brand new play kitchen set with marker

- bit off edges of almost every piece of a foamy puzzle

- stole ice cream container, and hid it and ate it in dining room. Left a crusty mess in carpet. Yum.

- D1 turned A/C and fan on before we went to bed one night, one night that was just 8 degree outside. We woke up at 1 am in house that was 50 degrees. Then coincidentally, I'm sure, the heater broke and we had to have it fixed on a Saturday.

And then there was the straw that broke the camels back. As I've outlined before, I really don't spend much, if any, time on myself. The one thing I do is put facial moisturizer on every day. It's special stuff for my sensitive skin. Well, they got into it and dumped most of it down the sink. I say most of it, because a nice glob of it also found its way onto D1's face. Which was rather humorous because when we caught them, she said she didn't do it, that it was just her sister. Hmmmm.

This one made me cry. Sob, actually. The usual Mom-esque statements. "I can't have anything nice!" "There is nothing that is my own anymore!" Blah, Blah, Blah. I even said "I don't feel like a human anymore!" To which my eloquent Husband replied "You're not human, you're a Mom now" ahem, yes he did!

So that's what I've been doing. Losing my mind. Slowly.

I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee now.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I know

So, I just want you to know that I know. Ok? I know my hair looks like shit. I have a hair appt for next Saturday, ok? I know, What's up with it, right? It's the freaking water here, that's what's up. The hard water in the Lehigh Valley is doing some serious beauty damage here. My stylist told me to start using a shampoo for color treated hair, said it would help my hair from turning this weird brassy color. It helped, sort of. But maybe I bought the wrong kind? It's totally making my hair look greasy and limp. Ok, ok, I know, I know that's not the only problem with my hair. I'm WAAAAYYYY over due on the hair dye thing. My grey roots are to my ears. I KNOW. And yes, I know if I took the time to blow dry it after my shower it wouldn't do this weird flippy thing. Yeah, I know. But if I'm using the hair dryer, then I have no idea what D1 is up to, and I already took a huge risk of house damage simply by taking a shower. Besides, the hair dryer could wake up D2, then I would really be in shits creek.

Yes, yes, I know that if I took 3 extra minutes to apply some concealer and blush I would look awake and probably like 15 years younger. I know. But then D1 and D2 would want me to put make up on them, and it would become this long THING. This THING that would eventually turn into yelling. Anyways, most of my makeup brushes are completely ruined because D1 dipped them into lip gloss. And I'm not buying any new ones till they are in middle school, at least.

Of course, I know my shirt has a stain on it. There AND there. I know. It's just that if I bought a new one, it would be christianed with a stain within the first hour of wearing it. Yes, I know, if I was more careful, or treated the stain right away, it would wash out. I know this. I don't do this. I take the shirt off, run around half naked, and then forget to pre-treat the stain, because I'm yelling at the girls for emptying out my dresser.

So I just want you to know that I know, ok?

And knowing is half the battle, right?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

painting a picture of family life

So my friend Valerie, over at A Frugal Family Fun Blog recently wrote this post about a family painting event. She even provided photos. The pictures are a snapshot of domestic tranquility at it's best. A tranquil activity to wind down the day. With the chaos of Christmas, it had been a while since I painted with the girls. With the icey, rainy weather today, I figured it would be a good time to pull out the new painting supplies I bought them for Christmas. I bought them two little kits. One is acrylic paint with a cute miniature pallette and really nice paintbrushes, the other is water paint with lots of great colors. I gave D1 the choice of which one to use. She chose the acrylic paint. This is how the conversation went once everything was set up:

D1: I want water, tooooo! Why D2 have water? I want water.
Me: Your paint doesn't need water to work.
D1: But I want water.

She then runs over to D2's paint and paper and starts using it.

D2: SCREEEEECHHHHH!! Noooooo! Mine!
Me: D1, get back to your chair. Use your paint. Back to your chair! Back to your chair!

D1 then goes back to her chair. Mixes all the pretty colors together to form an ugly black.

Me: D1, why did you do that? Now you only have black. D1, don't paint your hands, we aren't doing handprints today. D1, back to your chair, leave your sister alone. D1, clean off your hand, paint is everywhere now. D2, stop screaming. D2, stop throwing your paintbrushes on the floor.

D1: I want water.
Me: Your paint doesn't need water.
D2: Screeech!
D1: I want more paint.
D2: Screeech!
D1 then gets out of chair and grabs more paint.

Me: No, D1, you have to use up your black paint first.

D1: I want water.

Me: No, D1, we are not doing handprints today. One more time and we will stop painting.

and 30 seconds later...

Me: Ok! Painting is done! You didn't listen!
D1 & D2: Screech!

Thanks for the suggestion, Val.

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Years Resolutions

So, I guess I'm optimistic enough to still come up with Resolutions each year. But cynic enough to roll my eyes at my ownself as I'm doing it. After the decadence of too much eating, too much spending and not enough time spent on me, by January I'm always up for some healthy eating and pampering. But as I do it, my eyes are rolling, knowing that it will be over with by The Superbowl.

As I sit here, with my now snug fitting fat pants - the one's that just two short months ago were baggy, and wouldn't stay around my hips. Not only am I thinking about changing into sweatpants, but I'm thinking about the resolutions for this year. Last year Valerie Bertinelli made quite a revelation in her Jenny Craig commercial. It was the first year that she wasn't going to have to make her resolution be about losing weight. Will this be my year? Probably not. See, right there is the reason. Obviously I don't have what it takes. Sighhhhh. So what exactly are my resolutions?

1. Eat better, less sugar, less mindless shoveling in of the kid's leftovers.
2. Drink more water - I used to have this one down pat, not sure what happened.
3. Make the time to exercise.
4. Wake up 30 minutes before the kids, so I can have some quiet me time in the mornings.

Well, I started these resolutions today. I always start anything new on a Monday. Who cares what day New Year's Day landed on, Mondays are my days for starting over.

I set my alarm for 6:30. Got out of bed at 7:30. Actually got to take a shower with out D1 or D2 bothering me. So no, I didn't do what I resolved, but hey a quiet shower works, too.

I actually didn't eat the kid's leftovers today. I think that will be a matter of reprogramming. I remember when I was single, I would hear women complaining about gaining weight from doing this I would think "yuck! why would you do that?" Well, here I am!

What are your New Year's Resolutions? Or are you too jaded to have any?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Christmas is Over

So that's it, huh? It's all over. How exhausting! I'm still catching up on the sleep I missed for a full month, trying to put together the best Christmas ever, or something like that. How was it? Did I buy the freaking Dora Pegasus? Did I survive?

No, I did not buy the Dora Pegasus. I was very proud of myself on that one. I looked till Christmas eve, trying to find it for less than $30. I didn't, so I kept to my promise not to buy it. Did she miss it? Not at all. Didn't even mention it. Her favorite Christmas gift was the V-Tech Camera. She has barely put it down. I hate it. All her shots are, well, at her level, which means way more ass shots than one person deserves to see of herself in a lifetime. The horror. Although I almost peed myself when I saw some of the other shots. The camera has this thing where you can add stuff to your images. Hats, horns, googley eyes. Some how Miss D1 managed to add the googley eyes to a chest shot of her Great Grandmother. Got them right on target, if you know what I mean.

I think for D2, favorite gift was a tie between two things: a plastic spoon and cup and play dress up shoes. I've never seen a 20 month old so obsessed with accessories. That's my girl, alright. No denying that one.

Did I survive? I'm not really sure. I'll let you know next week when I catch up on sleep. But was it worth it? Yes, I think so. It was our first Christmas spent at home, our first time hosting the Hubby's whole family for Christmas dinner. Have I mentioned the word exhausted? Still, watching D1 and D2 run around and play with their new toys, unhurried or forced to do anything else? Totally worth it.

Seems like I should have more to say, I know I've been running blurbs through my brain for the past few days, but somehow I can't think of them now. It's just that I'm so tired....