Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Back into the swing of things

So D1's behavior was really, really good. For close to a month. The Holidays were not nearly as horrifying as I thought it would be, as far as her behavior went, that is to say. I even started getting a little nostalgic about it. Thought she was growing up, maturing. I started stressing over the blog even. What would I write about if I had a well behaved child? Nothing to complain over, no stories to make you laugh. Well, that's all wrong. D1 is back. Back with a vengeance. I've been so busying policing her and D2, I haven't had time to pee. Seriously, the last two weeks have been insane. Insane.

So what's been going on? Well, first of all, D2 is really coming into her own. She is becoming D1's accomplice in so many acts of vandalism, even creating her own.

Here is a short list of what they have been up to, once again, I've blocked out some of the things to conserve my sanity. Keep in mind, this is an incomplete list spanning just two weeks.

- squirted lotion all over bathroom floor

- wrote with a sharpie pen on the living room carpet (yeah, that doesn't come out)

- D2 drew on wall with bic pen (that doesn't appear to come out, either)

- dipped makeup brushes in lipstick (bye bye make up brushes)

- D1 dumped a bottle of Burts Oil in her hair. (oh, and then denied it. despite the obvious evidence of grease in her hair. Which, btw, took four hair washings to get out)

- smeared gel candle goop all over bathroom wall

- D2 wrote on brand new play kitchen set with marker

- bit off edges of almost every piece of a foamy puzzle

- stole ice cream container, and hid it and ate it in dining room. Left a crusty mess in carpet. Yum.

- D1 turned A/C and fan on before we went to bed one night, one night that was just 8 degree outside. We woke up at 1 am in house that was 50 degrees. Then coincidentally, I'm sure, the heater broke and we had to have it fixed on a Saturday.

And then there was the straw that broke the camels back. As I've outlined before, I really don't spend much, if any, time on myself. The one thing I do is put facial moisturizer on every day. It's special stuff for my sensitive skin. Well, they got into it and dumped most of it down the sink. I say most of it, because a nice glob of it also found its way onto D1's face. Which was rather humorous because when we caught them, she said she didn't do it, that it was just her sister. Hmmmm.

This one made me cry. Sob, actually. The usual Mom-esque statements. "I can't have anything nice!" "There is nothing that is my own anymore!" Blah, Blah, Blah. I even said "I don't feel like a human anymore!" To which my eloquent Husband replied "You're not human, you're a Mom now" ahem, yes he did!

So that's what I've been doing. Losing my mind. Slowly.

I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee now.


Dumblond said...

Maybe you should put a little "something" in your coffee. Sounds like you deserve it.

debbie said...

You'll laugh one day about all this. Really you will- especially when one of your daughters calls you to tell you that one of her children dumped lotion all over the floor!

Jiff said...

Holy crap. I guess it's illegal to lock them up in dog crates. lol.
Sorry, I'm sure I'll have made someone mad by saying that.

Anyway, have you tried Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser for some of the stuff? Not sure it will help permanent marker... but maybe the bic pen?

Good luck. Geez. You need a strong drink.

Jenny Henny said...

The Magic Erasers ain't that magic :)
Vodka however has been very useful