Nine years ago, when I started my job as Assistant buyer at Aigner, I was asked to write a profile of myself to be published in the quarterly newsletter. Upon publication the catty SHE in the cubicle next to mine commented “you sure have a lot to say about yourself”. Well, of course I did, I was 24, newly married, had a huge disposable income and lots of time on my hands. I had hobbies, interests and things to do! Fast forward nine years and 2 kids later. I’m filling out the application for the Local MOM”s club. The bottom line asks about your hobbies and activities. My mind draws a blank. Hobbies? Interests? Does researching online what will take poo stains off the carpet count? Well, I used to….. but now I….. well, crap. I drink coffee. A lot. Does that count as an interest? So I lied. I put down the things I used to do, or put money into starting and never did.
I wrote: reading (still true, just happens that my most read author at the moment is Sandra Boynton), yoga (well, I used to love it, and I did buy that new DVD that I’m sure I’ll start doing any day now), cooking (finding ways to hide veggies in meals is certainly a creative outlet!) and scrapbooking (the $300 dollars worth of supplies my Mom bought me has to be good for something!)
Am I becoming one of those women? You know the ones. The ones who have no true identity other than their kids? Can’t be. I’m in here somewhere. I just have to scrape off the food stains, and wash my hair. I’m still here! I promise, here and now. I’m starting again. Taking control of me, making time to pursue my own interest. Hear me roar! Well, hear me roar tomorrow, if I get a good nights rest. I swear.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Just do it. Right? I should be a writer, a writer, a writer. Hmmmm… a writer needs to write. Just do it… I need a mission statement what should it be? To make money. To feel like I’m contributing to the world as a whole. Oh let’s get sappy here. I’m raising two strong, fierce girls. I AM CONTRIBUTING. But I need more. Cash. Can I make money with this blog thing? Well, let’s see. What am I going to write about. ME!!! Then I should define myself. Ideas. I’m very good at ideas. I get very excited about ideas. This blogging thing for instance. How long will it last? Perhaps a little longer than a lot of my ideas. Perhaps I’ll even start it. Instead of thinking about it. Did I mention that I have lofty ideas that I never put into motion? Oh, and the procrastination. It’s tough, too. Me. Defined. Procrastinator, on again off again environmentally conscious, frugally living, hip mama. I can give you tips on lots of things. Things that I do. Sometimes. And then I’ll confess. I go through long periods of total inactivity. Long periods of drinking too much coffee and watching my little ones trash our house. Then up I go. Off on another tangent. Are you there too?