Monday, January 4, 2010

A Letter to the Manufacturer of the Graco Doll Stroller

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to thank you for building such a durable toy. We have had your doll stroller for two years now, and I knew it was built to handle rough toddler play, but I had no idea how well made it really was until this Holiday season. I mean, who would guess it would withstand a grown man, an ex-soccer player, kicking it across the span of two whole rooms?

Ok, I feel I should back up, I mean a grown man doesn't just kick a toy with that sort of force and determination for nothing, right? Well, I should hope not. But to better understand the reason behind this grown man showing a child's toy such violence, I think I need to set the situation up a few hours before the kicking incident. Hmmm, on further thought, lets rewind a full week. Oh, and I guess I should explain that the ex-soccer player is my dear husband.

As was tradition, two weeks prior to Christmas we bought and put up our Christmas tree. It was a beauty - perfectly symmetrical and it smelled divine. I just love that fresh pine scent, don't you? We had it decorated and looking lovely by the end of that weekend. But by Monday morning I was feeling a little uneasy. The tree looked like it was leaning. By that night I was afraid for the life of my treasured ornaments. I asked my husband to do something about it, but he said it was fine. The next night it looked worse, so once again I asked him to do something but he said it would be fine. Sigh. And so it went for a full week. "It's fine" So the following Sunday we had a tree that in my opinion looked like it was defying gravity. And I wasn't surprised when we all heard a soft "ting" and found the tree on the ground. Not surprised, but definitely upset. Some of my favorite ornaments were broken as a result. Oh, but I will confess, being able to say "I told you so" made me a feel a bit better. So the tree falling down set up our schedule for the next couple of hours. What turned into trimming off a few branches to make the tree sit more solidly became a full re-construction of the tree - drilling holes to re-insert branches, using wood glue and twine to restore our tree to it's original beauty. And all the while Hubby and I were doing this, our dear children were being told to stay out of the room for fear of being hurt by broken ornaments. My poor D1 and D2 did a great job for the first hour, but being only 2 and 4, they started to get impatient and wanted to help. So we let them explore the contents of Hubby's tool bag. Which was fine until they started fighting. So once again they were banished. Ok, I'm sure you are wondering what this has to do with your doll stroller, be patient, I'm getting there.

As hubby and I tried to creatively use twine to make the newly glued-in branches look natural, it dawned on me that my dear children were being very quiet. Too quiet. Uh oh.

I spied my D1 first. Asked her what she was doing and her reply of "nothing", made me look a little closer. Her hair! Why was the side of her pretty bob now crooked? "WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?!" I found her sister upstairs. I simply followed the trail of blonde hair that was spilled through the family room and up the steps. There she was, my adorable two year old with the haircut that will be talked about for the rest of her life. Her cute bob with bangs just touching her eyebrows was replaced with a more, a more, ahemm, modern look. Bangs completely cut off - think crew cut style, while the sides and back were left to their original length - that is excluding the random bits that were also completely cut off.

I marched both girls into the Christmas tree room for my husband to see and tearfully (ok, maybe a bit over dramatically!) exclaimed "Christmas is ruined!". Taking in the new haircuts and my tears, my husband sent the girls to their rooms, then turned around and kicked your stroller through the foyer right through to the other side of the Christmas tree room. Where I cried out "thanks, now you broke a toy, too!"

But to my amazement, your wonderful toy made it through! Not a dent or crooked part on it. And while I hope no other family goes through a day with such multiple disasters, I know I will recommend your toy to every Mom I know.

Jenny Henny

1 comment:

balletbeamer said...

I told her this would make a great Christmas memory story!!